Kayang ma (Kangar’s grandma)

Grand ma has been admitted to the hospital for almost a week. Aunt G.H only revealed to me last few days. Guess she never thought grand ma will be admitted for that long period.

When I heard about grand ma’s health deteriorate, it got my nerve. I felt guilty for not visiting her for almost a year. I can’t even recall the last time I visit her. I admit I am not filial. Kent , sis and I hastily drive to Alor Star Hospital to visit her a day after my phone conversation with aunt GH.

The room temperature in the hospital room was hot. Grand ma wrap her self with thick blankets and jacket. The windows were wide open. The hot air wind blown gently into the room. She was station in a private room. Aunt GH’s maid was beside her all the time. Abiding and taking care of her 24-7.

As I walk near to her bed, I called out “AH MA”!. Not talking or anything she just nod her head. Sis grab a chair sat beside her. All of a sudden, grandma asked “Who is the eldest?”

I was shocked to hear that. I asked her do you remember our names? Do you know who we are? She said I am too old to remember who you are. Who are you guys?

Our eyes burst into tears! My heart felt like cutting down from a high building crushing on the cold hard cement. I never felt that way since my mother passed away. She has forgotten our names. She can’t recognize us.

I remember I called her 2 weeks ago before she was admitted to the hospital. She was fine except that she talks slowly due to her constant cough. Asking me when to conceive a baby and joke a bit and now all of a sudden she can’t remember who am I.

Her condition worsen she can’t sit up. She can’t eat. She can’t really talk as she has to catch her breath after every talk. Doctor only claims that she has ear infection.  But what causes all this dizziness and cold she is having now? Her BP is like roller coaster ride. I felt helpless not being to do anything to release her pain.

All I can do is to hope that she will get back to her feet soon. Healthy and strong!