Till to date dad has unerringly passed away a month. The unintentional cruelty of him leaving us behind made us vague and worthless. The phenomena of this year’s Chinese New Year are completely different from the years before. It’s totally solemn and quiet. I feel alone. I don’t feel like talking at all. I tend to argue and easily ill tempered I rather shut myself up then to hurt someone. My heart is aching. Miles of journey are still long and winding ahead. I am totally freaked out and concern about my family. The young minds keep thinking I am agitating them and stirring troubles. I am not their parents. I have communication barriers!
Dad’s passing has changed me. I have lost this special person who usually talk, guide and listen to me every night. I no longer feel ambitious. I am truly aware that life is really meaningless. I lost my mom 10 years ago and loved my dad by being a filial child ever since. In return, god took him away from us. Why?
Now all I ever wish is, when I die I want to meet mom and dad in the underworld and be with them forever!